Romulan ale

The Alberta town of Vulcan (population 1,900) knows a good thing when it sees it. It’s embraced the fact it shares the same name as Spock’s birth planet on Star Trek and turned it into arguably the area’s biggest industry.

A sign welcomes visitors in English, Klingon and Vulcan. The tourism centre is shaped like the USS Enterprise. The gas station sells Vulcan ears.

This week, they got the biggest boost when Spock himself visited the town and led a three-block parade through downtown Vulcan.

Merchants sold foam Vulcan salutes, Spock T-shirts, and Star Trek cakes. But the most popular item had to be the Romulan Ale at the Market Place Liquor Store.

Romulan aleThe store has the exclusive rights to sell Romulan Ale — imported from Guatemala — in Alberta for the next year.

Not one to pass up such an opportunity, I joined the line and snagged one of the last six-packs ($20) that day. Cuz I’m logical that way.

I lugged the beer home for Jason. Here in a nutshell is his chronological critique of the blue beverage (4.5% alcohol):

“It smells like beer.”

“It’s not bad.”

“Just smell it, there’s something not right.”

“It smells like soapy beer. Ooooh… now it tastes like soapy beer.”

“It’s going to make my poop blue.”

“I have to have a real drink now to clear that out of my system.”

I had to make him pour it down the sink for fear the Romulan brew would break down his human insides.