TORONTO: Stories from the Tulip

The Tulip has been around Toronto since 1929, a diner full of stories. Even my sister can reminisce about the first time she and her now-husband went out to eat in a group there. They weren’t dating yet, and Kevin sat at one end of the table wondering who the tiny girl attacking a porterhouse was.

Now they’re married. Yay! In fact, that’s why we were in Toronto.

The day after the big reception, Jason and I slipped away from family to catch up with some old friends. (Well, kind of. My parents wanted to come too so I made them sit at another table. It’s not as weird as it sounds, I swear.)

The Tulip only takes reservations for tables of seven or more, and often sports lineups out the door at busy times. But it was fairly quiet when we arrived.

The menu is straightforward and has daily specials, including boiled corned beef and cabbage on Tuesdays and roasted lamb shoulder on the weekends, but really the Tulip is most famous for its low prices and large steaks.

For appetizers among the six of us, we had garlic shrimp ($7.95) deliciously drenched in mozzarella, cheddar and parmesan, escargots ($6.95) with mushrooms and parmasan, and a small Greek salad ($4.55).

The waiter brought a couple of plates piled high with thick slices of fresh, white bread. Ah, diners: screw whole grains, refined flour all the way!

All of us ordered steaks, except Jason who inexplicably ordered the BBQ ribs and paid for it (more later).

They were out of T-Bones so I was “forced” to upsize to a porterhouse, that mammoth piece of meat that combines both a tenderloin and strip. (Strangely, my favourite cut, the ribeye isn’t an option.)

The rest of the table got tenderloins ($20.50 for 8 oz.) and there was one sirloin ($16.95 for 12 oz.), if I remember correctly. We all split a large fried mushrooms ($5.25).

As you can see, these are no-fuss plates: a big piece of meat, with your choice of baked or mashed potatoes or spaghetti, a couple of pieces of broccoli, a slice of raw tomato and raw onions.

The steaks were all good, and cooked correctly to order. Nothing fancy but you couldn’t really ask for anything more.

Jason’s BBQ baby back ribs ($19.95) on the other hand were terrible. They tasted like they were baked in ketchup, and even came with a side of the watery, offending sauce. The ribs were dry and the meat certainly didn’t fall off the bone.

Over at my parents’ table, my dad was raving over the prime rib ($14.95 small, $17.95 regular, $20.95 for 14 oz) and my mom over her rack of lamb, which was a steal at $19.95.

All of our orders came with ice cream for dessert. Jason makes fun of me for always choosing vanilla, but in this case it was smarter to be safe, because the chocolate strangely smelled and tasted like Pine-Sol. I’m sure — well, I hope — that’s not a normal occurrence.

In lieu of letting it melt, Nick decided to make an ice cream sandwich by smushing his chocolate treat between two pieces of white bread, and offering $5 to anyone who’d eat it. We all declined.

That’s my Tulip story. Not quite as romantic as my sister’s.

The Tulip, 1610 Queen St. E., Toronto, (416) 469-5797.